Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Head to Phoenixville this weekend for ITALIAN ALL-NIGHT SPLATTER FEST 5!

I'm knocking a bunch of stuff off my 35mm to-do list this year. Along with my typical escapades to Poughkeepsie's Hudson Horror Show, The Alamo Drafthouse in Yonkers, and The Palace Theater in Syracuse, I've added The Anthony Wayne Theater, The Mahoning Drive-In, and now The Colonial Theatre to my list of haunts. This Saturday, starting at 6:00 PM, The Colonial (home of the original THE BLOB) will be host to an insane lineup of Italian Horror classics! Prepare yourselves for ITALIAN ALL-NIGHT SPLATTER FEST V!


7:00 PM - TROLL 2 (1990)
This sequel in name only is regarded by some as "the best, worst movie" and rightfully so. Director Claudio Fragasso's tale of Goblins seeking human prey is one of the most bizarre things ever committed to film. Populated by a cast of unknowns (one of the leads is a dentist!), featuring cheap costumes and makeup f/x, and boasting one of the most nonsensical plots ever, TROLL 2 is one of the most entertaining bad films you will ever see.

When the Hardy family comes to the town of Nilbog ("It's their kingdom!") to swap houses with a family of backwoods yokels. They soon find that the locals are oddly friendly and insistent on force-feeding them green Kool-Aid, icing, and butter. It turns out that the townsfolk are actually goblins in disguise, and are trying to turn the city folk into human-plant hybrids for dinner. With the help of a young boy's dead grandpa, the Hardy clan will fight for their lives against the tribe of vegetarian monsters.

8:37 - PIECES (1982)
Juan Piquer Simon's entry into the slasher sub-genre is a work of inane brilliance. A mysterious killer is chainsawing coeds at a on a college campus, and its up to "a former tennis star turned detective" to discover the identity of the culprit. This movie puts the red herrings into overdrive, and features some fun kills, and a total "what the f*ck?" ending that will leave you laughing and scratching your head, long after the film has ended.

I know it's a year away, but may I humbly suggest Simon's SLUGS for a future Italian Splatter Fest event?

10:08 PM - 20 Minute Break.

10:30 PM - CEMETERY MAN (1994)
I haven't seen this flick in a looooong time, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit. Rupert Everett stars as Francesco Dellamorte, the night watchman at an old cemetery, who finds himself having to lay the dead back to rest shortly after they've been buried. Dellamorte's sidekick is a fat bald guy named Gnaghi who can only say "GNAH!," and he is haunted by a beautiful woman (Anna Falchi!) who seems to keep reincarnating and walking back into his life over and over again. It's a very strange movie, but a lot of fun, and kind of artsy.

This is one film I've never seen in any format, so I'm very curious about it. From the official Italian All-Night Splatter Fest Page: "While spending an amorous afternoon with a married teacher, Elizabeth witnesses the murder of a classmate. Now, the killer seems to be stalking the student body and the numero uno suspect is her secret lover!" A classic 70s giallo flick? Yeah, I'm totally down for that!

2:04 AM - 20 Minute Break.

2:26 AM - ZOMBIE (1979)
Lucio Fulci's ZOMBIE was one of my first forays into the world of Italian horror, and I love this movie dearly. Though I've already seen this in 35mm, I'm more than eager to have it shove a splinter of awesome into both of my eyes all over again! A group of people become stranded upon the island of Matool after a shark damages their boat (and battles an aqua-zombie!). Soon they meet up with Dr. Maynard, who is trying to find a cure for the isle's undead epidemic. But as things progress, it would seem that there is no cure, and that the pestilence is spreading at an alarming rate across the globe!

Fulci's "sequel" to Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD is a total blast, and features some of the most inventive (and brutal) f/x sequences you will ever witness! This is a great way to cap things off on this fun event!

So just to recap things: ITALIAN ALL-NIGHT SPLATTER FEST 5 takes place on Saturday, September 3rd! Doors open at 6:00 PM and movies begin at 7:00 PM, and there will be contests, prizes, and other fun surprises for all those that attend! CLICK HERE to get your tickets now, and hopefully I'll see you there!


  1. everything but troll 2 looks great..troll 2 is barely laughably horrible..except for that kid that screams Oh my gooooooooo-od !

  2. Oh c'mon! Troll 2 is solid bad movie gold! Bad effects, lousy editing, horrible acting, and a nonsensical plot - It's a perfect storm of bad decisions! You may gain a new appreciation for it if you scope out the "Best Worst Movie" documentary. It is definitely worth a look!

  3. I did my man, that's how I ended up renting troll 2 lol

    1. Oooohhhh.... you never discovered Troll 2 on your own on VHS or HBO back in the day? That's probably why you're not as attached to it as a lot of others. hahaha